Detective Hunter Douglas Undercover Spam Police

Dr Hunter Douglas ... internet stud

2006-06-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

Original Email:

Hire,
i am he!re sitting in the internet caffe. Found your email and
decided to write. I migaht be coming to your place in 14 days,
so I decided to email you. May be we can meet? I am 25 y.o.
girl. Ia have a picture if you want. No need t!o reply here as
this is not my email. Write me at ojiiq@mailforfreedom.com
Jewel

I replied:
Hire,
Are you by any chance Jewel the famous American singer?
Hahaha, I am making a little joke.
Are you kidding, or course I would like a picture, you sound like a
real "hubba hubba" girl.
Are you really going to be visiting Boz City Iowa in the next 14 days,
wow, that would be so neat, and if you did come to my place we could
go visit the the Phlegm Museum on Highway 69 right outside of Boz City
Iowa, and I could show you off to all my friends who think I am too
big a loser to have a 25 y.o. girl visit my place.
Anxiously waiting to hear from you in your reply to me.
The Big Man
Dr Hunter Douglas

She replied:

Hello my stranger
I am so happy to see that you have decided to reply,I see it is very short letter.
It is all right because you are astonished to get my letter.
I want you to know that I have only good intentions and I have not any secrets.
The thing is that I will work in your country for three months or so and I would like to meet a nice man to fall in love or just be closest friends.
I don't want to live in Russia because I have not any chances here,it is hardly possible to explain from first time but
I want you to know my plans.I will work in any shop, bar or restaurant the agency that i am going through will suggest
me some locations. It will be my choice in the end as to what option to go for.
So I will have a simple work till I improve my English. And I can choose any town of your area,agency will only help me
to get a visa and all travel documents + some suggested placed to work in. My best friend last year met the man from
the USA when she worked there for three months, too.
She had two jobs. From morning till 4 pm she worked in amusement park and after it she worked as a waitress in some bar till midnight.
She was very tired of course but made very good money there.
It is special programm for young people who wants to work abroad and I think it is the right way for me ,I am lost here,and I think that I
look pretty enough to find a better place .I want to repeat the same way,it is only my chance to meet a nice man.I want to work in USA or in Europe or any
nice country. I am full of plans and different dreams and I want to share my life with good man because I'm also full of love
and tenderness,I know that I am not so beautiful like Hollywood Princess but I do hope to meet my Prince and
I am sure he will be not be disappoined to meet me in the real life! This is why I am going to go through the same way.
Well,I will close this letter and I do hope to get your reply.
I will leave russia in two weeks or so (I can't tell you everything exactly right now) and I would like to be sure that I
have the man who waits for me there. I will work all day and I want to find a man to spend all free time together to get
to know each other better.if you have any interest to meet me I will be more than happy to meet you too.
I will tell you all details about me and my life if you like my pictures and want to meet me! please send picture of you too!!!
Now I write you from my personal mailbox kissme@coolmymail.com, please write me back here and here only. I will be checking it often.
Kiss you , Liubov (this is my name)!

Her pictures:

My reply:

My dearest Lubya,
I am sorry that I haven't replied to your reply to my last email sooner but I had to spend the last two days in jail. Don't worry, it was nothing serious, and my lawyer, Perry Mason, was able to get me released on a technicality because the restraining order that my ex girlfriend Oprah had taken out on me had many words mispelled and that made it not legal. Don't worry, it is really over between Oprah and me, and this time I really mean it.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about what you said in your email about wanting to work two jobs so you can make a lot of money and get rich and then meet a nice man that would love you. I am pretty sure that if you came to see me at my place that you would be able to get a job as a tour guide at the Phlegm Museum because they are always looking for women who even though they aren't Hollywoood pretty they are pretty enough to work as tour guides.
Also, my friend Chandler Bing who works at the Smegma Factory says he could probably get you a job there working the midnight shift and the midnight shift pays the most money, mostly because it is late at night, and also a little bit because of the health risks too.
I really loved the photos that you sent me, and yes, even though you aren't Holllywood pretty, you are pretty enought that whenever I look at your photos I get a bulging in my secret place.
I have included to photos of myself as you requested. No, I am not Hoolywood pretty either, but my friends all tell me that I am pretty enought to be gay but because the law states that if you do it less than five times it is only experimenting, so I AM NOT GAY!!!
I am sorry that my email isn't as beautifully written as yours but most of the emails that I write are actually written by my secretary because I am way too busy doing doctor things and that is what secretaries do, but I honestly truly did write this email, except that my secretary did help me with my spelling just a little bit.
So please, my dearest darling Lubya, tell me more about your plans, your hopes, your dreams, and please tell me if there is anything that I could do to help you reach your plans, your hopes, your dreams because as a doctor I make lots of money and I would love to help a 25 y.o girl reach her plans, her hopes, and dreams.

Reaching up and catching your kiss and placing it in my billfold and putting it in my pocket to keep it warm
The Big Man
Dr. Hunter Douglas

PS. Would it be possible for you to send me another photo or two of you in a swimming suit or maybe wearing something that you go to bed in?

My photos:

Could it be?

2006-03-13T06:41:00.000-08:00

The email:
From Mrs Elizerbeth Rajan
St Calberk Hospital,
Ivoire Coast

Dearest Friend,

It is my Pleasure to write to you after considering your profile. I am Elizerbeth Rajan a nationality of kuwait , I am married to one Mr. Habbuk M.Rajan who worked with kuwait company in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004 may his soul rest in peace. We were married for eleven years without a child, he died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before my husband death we were both born again Christians, when he was alive he made a deposit of $8.500.000.00. Eight Million five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars with a bank. Presently, this money is still with the bank with the related documents concern for deposit of the fund.

Recently my doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem, Though what disturbs me most is my stroke, having known my condition i decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way i am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this fund to churches, orphanages, Research centers and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. the Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

I took this decision because I dont have any child that will inherit this money and my husband's relatives are not Christians and i don't want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. i dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. hence the reason for taking this bold decision. Beside i am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going.

I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 vs 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I dont need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health because of the presence of my family relatives around me always. I dont want them to know about this development and my convanat with my God.

With God all things are possible. as soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the pacific Finance/bank . I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian, Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.

Please always be prayerful all through your life. meanwhile any delay in your reply will give me room insourcing for a church or christian in dividual for this same purpose, moreso assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here.

Remain blessed ,
Mrs.Elizerbeth Rajan

My reply:
Dear Mrs Elizerbeth Rajan,
I am also a borned again Christian, and after thinking on your
propositon for two days without food nor drink, our God, the big man,
came to me in a visison and told me to put my trust in you Mrs
Elizerbeth Rajan.
Yours in Jesus and God,
Hunter Douglas, Doctor of Lycanthropic Surgery, University of My Lady
of the Screaming Virgins

Her Reply:
Dear Hunter Douglas,

(May the Lord God be with you and your family amen).

I am very glad to see your mail and i know that you as a good beleiver who will be the trustee of this project. give thanks to God is everything and i am very happy that the Lord have reviwed himself to you to carry on this project with good heart. I was in my lap-top reading the the holy book before i meet your mail.

Dear Douglas, during my search for a true believer who could assist me in handling this project I come across your mail, than though I prayed severally before I contacted you after the spirit of God has spoken to me . After reading your mail I was so much exited, your response showed me that you a God sent to this project .

Remember I vowed to use these funds to assist the less privileged children in the society and orphanage home, and also be invested for religious work at home and abroad - including missionary work in East &West Africa etc",

I prayed over this suggestion before I took the decision that these funds will be share into two parts; one part for the orphanage and less privileged children in the society while the other part will be use for religious work at home and abroad - including missionary work in East &West Africa etc. after all this i will offer you 10% from the total amount for your homble concern.

As you can see I am very ill and weak that is why I would want to leave these funds under your care for the purpose of religious work because I strongly believe and know it that this is an opportunity both of us could share and show our human kindness to our Lord saviour. Once again, I would advise that these funds will be use for helping the orphanage and less privileged children in the society.

After your ealier response i will this close the bank contacts to you with a letter of introduction, while you deal with the bank directely and send them your banking informations for trnsferring of the money in your account. My good friend douglas, please i will like to know more about you and your familybackgrand, while i send you my foto pic with my husband for good familiars with the deposited documents of this fund in the bank.

Sincerely
Mrs Elizerbeth Rajan

My Reply:

Dear Elizerbeth,
May I call you Elizerbeth? It's such a pretty name.
I'm sorry to hear of your soon to be fatal illness. If you'll pardon my French, that must really suck.
Yes, yes, yes, I am the one to be entrusteded with your late husbands and your soon to be late hard earned money.
I agree it should be used for the poor orphaned children and that god stuff you mentioned too.
May I suggest that we make a substantial donation to the Jacko Jackson Home for Boys With No Parents and Cute Bottoms? It has always been one of my favorite charities.
You ask about my familybackgrand. I am sad to report to you that it was quite tragic. My original parents were killeded while doing missionary work in the small south sea island nation of St Boz on the Half Shell when they were mistaken for breakfast by a local indigenous tribe. After that I was raised by an older couple by the name of Mr and Mrs Carney Folk.
Alas, you are weak, and ill, and I am afraid my tales of woe can only weaken you more.
Tell me what you need of me, and please hurry, because you sound really really sick.
Yours in God and all Godlike things
Hunter Douglas, Doctor of Lycanthropic Surgery, University of My Lady
of the Screaming Virgins

I received this email this morning:
Dear Hunter Douglas,

(May the Lord God be with you and your family amen). Thanks for your response. As I told you earlier, because of my illness, I am leaving the process of the transfer of this money from here to be handled by one of the trusted Doctors here in the hospital. I have told the doctor about you and the doctor requsted to talk to you on phone. Please let me have your telephone number so that the doctor will be able to speak with you. Please also remember that, your bank account will be needed for the transfer of the money, so please send your bank account informtion so that I will send it to the bank for the transfer procedures to continue.
I wait for your urgent response.
Yours,
Elizerbeth.

My reply:

My Dearest Elizerbeth,
Thank you for making your last letter so much shorter because
sometimes my attention span is too short to read really long letters.
Don't worry though, I read most of your earlier letters all the way
through, at least the parts that I understood.
Can this doctor man at the hospital be trusted? Because even though I
am myself a doctor I have a hard time trusting other doctors because
of this one time when I was going to doctor school a classmate of mine
who was also going to doctor school and who was named Dr Pepper kept
telling me that Nurse Beverly, she was the prettiest nurse at the
doctor school, anyway Dr Pepper kept telling me that Nurse Beverly
said she would like to have sex with me. I hope I don't offence you
when I say sex just like that, but this was before I was a borned
again Christian and there were many times where all I could think of
was having of the sex. Of course when I asked Nurse Beverly to have
sex with me she laughed in my face and told me if I ever bothered her
again she would tell her doctor boyfriend named Doctor Popeye about it
and he would hit me till I hurt real bad.
So this is why it is important that I know if your doctor friend can be trusted.
You also told me that you would like to send me a picture of yourself
and your now dead husband. I would really like this because I would
like to see what you looked like before you got so sick and before
your husband got so dead. If possible could you send me a picture of
the two of you at the beach, you know, wearing bathing costumes.
I am awaiting your further instructions
Jesus Loves Me, and I'm Pretty Sure He Loves You Too,
Hunter Douglas, Doctor of Lycanthropic Surgery, University of My Lady
of the Screaming Virgins

This looks like a job for Dr. Hunter Douglas ... Under Cover Spam Police

2006-02-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

THE CRY FOR HELP:

Mrs Sandra Williams
Attn:Dear beloved,
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr. Lobi William who
worked with Ivory Coast embassy in Kuwait for nine years before we left to
Abidjanš where he was re-appointed as a navy officer before his untimely death
in the year 2004.
We were married for eleven years without a child. He died in his home country
Ivory Coast after a brief illness that lasted for only four days Before his
death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to
remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $9.5Musd (nine Million
Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) in a bank here Abidjan.

Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer
problem. The one that disturbs me most is the high blood preasure sickness.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or
individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I
want a church or individual that will use this fund for orphanages,
widows,propagating the word of God and to endeavor that thehouse of God is
maintained. The Bible made us tounderstand that“Blessed is the hand that giveth”
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money
and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s
efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money
will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.šš
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going
to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that “the lord will fight
my case and I shall hold my peace”. I don’t need any telephone communication in
this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives
were around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development.
With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give
you the contact of the in a bank here Abidjan. which he my late husband
deposits the money. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove
you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always
pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life
of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in
spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Contact me
in this e_mail (san_williams2005@mail.bg)address for more informations Please
assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.

Hoping to receive your reply.presently,I am still in my late husbands home
country abidjan capital city of ivory coast.
šš
Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Sandra Williams
NOTE.Contact me in this e_mail (san_williams2005@mail.bg)

MY REPLY:

Dear Sandra Williams
The lord came to me in a dream and told me to contact you.
Yours Truly
Hunter Douglas

Kimmy, is that you?

2005-03-10T17:38:00.000-08:00

The email

My Dear,
I am kimaeva, personal secretary to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL (a Russian oil company) and
Menatep SBP Bank (A reputable financial institution)who got arrested for his involvement in politics in financing opposition political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/socialdemocratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which poses a treat to President Vladimir Putin second tenure as Russian president. More information are available on:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html.
I got your contact in my search for a reliable and trustworthy entity who could handle this confidential transaction.
You will be entitled to 30% of the sum once everything gets concluded.
Please take this seriously as it is not a hoax. All I need from you is to stand as a beneficiary to the funds in one of his accounts that has not yet been discovered by the authorities. The account holds the sum of 18.2 million dollars($18.2m).
All modalities necessary for the successful transfer of this money have been worked out and I wish to relocate out of here quietly once we are through. Please if you are interested, provide your details such as full name, business name, if you have a business and telphone number so that we
can commence immediately.
Awaiting your response.
Regards,
Kimaeva.

My reply

Dear Kimmy,
May I call you Kimmy.
You may find this request strange, but Kimmy Gibbler was the name of my first love who was tragically killed in an automobile accident on the night of our Junior Prom. Yes, I had been drinking, but I wasn't drunk, and I was cleared of any criminal wrong doing in the matter and my parents settled the civil suit out of court, the details of which I am still not at liberty to discuss.
This is why I ask if I may call you Kimmy. I miss her so much.
Ahhhh. please excuse me a second while I regain my composure.
Anyway, Kimmy, your proposition sounds intriguing and of course I am interested. Please email me, and let me know exactly what is required of me?
One more thing. You aren't Nigerian are you?
Urgently waiting your reply
The Big Man
Dr. Hunter Douglas

Detective Hunter Douglas begins his investigation

2005-03-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

The Email

Attn: Friend,

It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a
suprise. This is because we have not met before but
I am inspired to send you this email by the huge
fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual
benefit to the two of us.

However, I am Barrister Phillip Andrews,the personal
attorney to the late Senator Paul lane Wellstone,
a Citizen of the United states and he was into politics.

On the 25th of October 2002, my client,his wife and
their three children were involved in a fatal Plane Crash
near Eveleth-Virginia Municipal Airport.

Unfortunately they all lost their lives including
other people in the Plane.Since then I have made
several enquiries to several Embassies to locate any
of my clients extended relatives, this has also
proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided
to trace and locate any member of his family but of no avail,
hence I contacted you.

I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money
and property left behind by my client since I have no
place to locate any of his relatives. I can easily
convince his bank in the Europe with my legal practice that
you are the only surviving relation of my client.Otherwise
the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or declared
unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits
were lodged.

Particularly, My late client had an account with one
of the banks in Europe valued at about US$9.3Million
(Nine Million Three Hundred Thousand United States Dollars)
which I witness the documentations before he left for the
states on 24 october 2002.

Conseqently,The bank issued me a notice to provide the
next of kin to my client since I have been unsuccesfull
in locating the relatives.

I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at
US$9.3Million (Nine Million Three Hundred Thousand United
States Dollars) will be paid into your account and then you and
I can share the money. 55% to me and 40% to you,while 5%
should be for expenses,tax as your government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used
to back up any claim we may make. All I require is
your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal
through. I guarantee that this will be executed under
a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
any breach of the law.

mail me on my altanative mail box :phillipandrews@box.az

Yours Faithfully,

Barrister Phillip Andrews Esq

N.B. Please indicate your telephone and fax numbers
for easy communication in this mutual transaction.

My reply

Wow,
This sounds too good to be true Pjillip!
And, Oh boy, you bet I am interested.
There is one problem though. Last year I become involved in a similiar
proposition with a Nigerian gentlemen. He seemed like a very nice
fellow too. We sent many emails back and forth to each other, and I
gladly sent him my $150,000.00, but since then all my emails to him
have gone unanswered. It is like he fell off the face of the earth. I
was really worried about him until one of my friends, Chandler Bing,
told me that the Nigerian gentleman might have taken advantage of me.
So, just in case you might want to be taking advantages with me I need
you to answer a few questions before our relationship can go any
further.

1. Which barrister school did you go to?
2. Have you ever been to Nigeria?
3. Did you ever have a chance to meet the late Princess Di?
4. I am a psychiatrist. If our relationship were to continue would you
mind if I asked you a few psychiatrist questions?
5. Do you have a secretary to do your spelling for you, I do and it helps a lot?
6. Have you ever had any dealing with the late Senator Paul lane
Wellstone's friend Senator Beaver Cleaver from the state of
Eastern Michigan?
7. What is the difference between football and rugby?
8. When you flush your toilet does the water go down backwards, or am
I thinking of Austria?
9. Do you have a hard time making up your mind when they ask you paper
or plastic?
10. Do you have any unmarried sisters?

I hope this questions aren't too personal, but these are things I need to know.
I am gleefully waiting for your email reply
Yours truthfully
Dr Hunter Douglas ... Male Psychiatrist.

ROUND TWO

His reply

Dear Ken,

How are you, hope all is well,i am sorry that you migth have fallen victim to thoes people,fristly i am not a Nigeria nor do i live in Nigeria,or have some one who spells for me i do my wirting myself and also sorry that you sent your money to these Nigerian people.

I am a lawyer to the late Mr Paul wellston and i have not heard of any Sen.Beaver Cleaver,all this questionS you ask me is not related to the letter i have mail to you,i am not a nigerian ok,hope that is well noted,and i am not even trying to tell you to bring any of your money,i will take care of everything about money in this transter.please do call me if you are still interested,so i will tell you what we have to do to get the funds into your account in the United States.

I wait for your call.

Phillp.

My reply

Dear Pjillip,
Thank you for replying so urgently, and yes I am still interested.
Pjillip, why do you call me Ken, my name is Dr Hunter Douglas. Is Ken a codeword of some kind. If Ken is a codeword could you please change it to The Big Man. Thanking you in advance.
Pjillip is also an interesting name. Is it Nigeria??? Hahaha, I was making a joke. I know you aren't Nigeria, and have never been to Nigerian. Sometimes you hurt so much over past hurts that you have to laugh to keep from hurting so much.
I am sorry if my question about your sisters was too personal. It is just that my friend, Chandler Bing, remember him, is looking for a wife because everybody thinks he is a gay man, which he isn't, not that there is anything wrong with it. So that is the reason I asked about that.
I also didn't mean any disrespect when I asked about your writing. You write very eloquently, and I guess I was just jealous because my secretary has to do all my writing for me.
Seriously, have you ever written any poetry or short stores? If you have please send them to me. I would love to read them.
One final thought, You really don't know Senator Beaver Cleaver? Maybe you know his friend Representative Lumpy Rutherford, he is the head of the House committee that does stuff about money.
Pjillip, yes, oh yes, oh yes.
I am still interested in your transaction. I would call your right away, but as I look out my window the telephone guys are working on the telephone lines, and because of this I am not able to make telephone calls not only to you, but to my friend Chandler Bing.
Please urgently reply and tell me what to do next.
The Big Man
Dr Hunter Douglas

Round Three

His reply

Dear Dr Hunter,

How are you doing,hope you are alrigth,the reason i called you Ken was,the Name i saw in your frist mail.Who is Ken?,and also to let you know that Ken is not a codeword.i am in London not in the united states and there is no way i would know all of my late client's friends.

Its not really funny when you talk about other people's famlies,or trying to know if i am real or not just call me so that you will know.All you have been asking me is not related to what i have asked you.yet you tell me that you are interested in this transaction.

I really need to explain to you what you have to do for us to actualize this transaction.
Although i will explain in this e-mail, but teleconversation, i beleive will butress and give you more light on what you are to do.

However, All i want you to do as i mentioned in my first e-mail is that you will represent and stand as the next of kin to the late Paul Lane Wellstone.
As his beneficiary/next of kin, i shall give you the contact information of the Bank and name of officer in charge of transfering Funds to you, so that you would contact him and request a transfer of the Funds of your late Cousine (PAUL LANE WELLSTONE) into you bank account.
This is simple, All you have to do is thus:
You contact the bank, presenting yourself as the beneficiary/next of kin to the Late Mr. Paul lane Wellstone,
Request that his funds ( $ 9.3 Million) be transfered into your bank account.I also remember that you told me some other people you gave money to i want to tell you that you can turst me on this that is all i ask from you,and also i will want to put my turst in you.

I shall arrange the documentations of proof that will fit you in as the true beneficiary/next of kin to the Late mr. Paul Lane Wellstone and send to the bank.
There is no risk involve whatsoever, all i want you to do is to keep this transaction and its communication very confidential.

Please call me any time for further explanation on my private telephone number Tel: + 44 7040101707 and send email to me with the required in information , your full and address and your private telephone numbers to enable us proceed urgently.Henceforth, write me only on this highly confidential email address for top most secrecy

Awaiting your urgent response and call.

Phillip Andrews.

My reply

Dear Pjillip,
I just tried telecommunicating with you by dialing your private telecommunicating number that you gave me. The woman that answered was very angry. She told me that there was no Pjillip now or never, and then she threatened to call the police if I ever tried telecommunicating with that number again. She was very angry, and you know what else Pjillip, she didn't sound like she was English, she sounded like she was Nigerian.
Are you sure that you gave me the right telecommunicating number, or is this your idea of some kind of internet joke.
Pjillip, I have put my complete trust in you and you do this to me. Please tell me you made a mistake with the telecommunicating number.
I need this money badly. There is another man who I am dealing with who wants me to invest in a Pop Rocks mine located in the Capone Mountains on Alcatraz Island.
My friend Chandler Bing, not the Chandler Bing that is on television, that is a different Chandler Bing, my friend Chandler Bing doesn't trust you and says that I should break our relationship off.
I don't want to do that Pjillip. You write so eloquently that I know you have to be an honest man, and that was just an honest mistake.
Pjillip, I am so confused, is there something you can do that will let me know that you are on the up and the up?
I am urgently waiting your urgent reply.
The Big Man
Dr Hunter Douglas

PS - I think that ken might have something to do with being next of ken. I'm not sure, it's just a guess.

Round Four

His reply

Dear Dr Hunter,

The way you talk to people,i do not know why you do that,what number are you calling,are you trying to joke with my personality,i told you i am in the UK and my number is UK code 44 7040101707 please call me now,and how on earth do you know if some one is from nigeria or not by the voice.

i will wait for your call if you do not call it means you are not interested in this transfer please stop joking with all this it is not funny.Thank you for tursting me but i do not know if i can trust you with the way you are mailing and telling me all this.

If you really want to do this please call my cell phone is Uk country code is 44 7040101707 Direct Line is 44 7040112438 call me now.if you want to call dial your international access code than dail UK code which is 44 than dail my number and you wil get to me i wait for you call for there is no time.

Phillip.

My reply

My Dear Friend Pjillip,
Of course I am still interested in your preposition.
I tried to call you five times today and I kept getting a a busy signal. Are you trying to avoid my calling you?
Have you found someone else that you would rather be dealing with. Pjillip, I have been totally honest with you from the starting off point, but my friends are getting suspicious of you.
I tell them they are full of it, that Pjillip is much to eloquent to be a teller of lies.
My good friend Jonnie Nacho, thinks you are really Nigeria. I told him no, no, no, that you a barrister of England.
My other good friend Kat S. Stuff, thinks you should send me a picture of yourself to prove you are who you are claiming you are.
My other other good friend Chandler Bing, remember him, he says I should ask you to invest in the Pop Rock mines in the Capone Mountains.
Chandler Bing, remember him, may be right.
Pjillip when we get this money, would you like to invest in the Pop Rock mines also. The man who emailed me said we could make hundreds of millions of dollars from just a small investment. What do you think. Do you think this is a good investment.
One more thing Pjillip, don't you think we should split the money 50% to 50%? I am taking as many risks as you are.
As always I am urgently waiting for your urgent reply.
The Big Man
Dr Hunter Douglas

Round Five
His reply

Dear Friend,

How are you,hope you are all rigth and doing well,what will i gain by telling you lies,everybody have their own way of thinking,your friends may tell you what them think about me because they have not seen me,and where i am from because there are many internet scams going on and Nigerian are the ones poeple say that they are the ones.i do not know what to say,i have not found anybody yet but from the way you listening to your friends and what they tell you i do not think you and i can work together,because if i tell you one thing you will tell them and they will tell you to tell me,are they your boss? or your are the boss of yourself,Do what you want to do and leave your friends out of all this, at the end they will know when you show they the transfer slip of the money in your account than they will belive you.

When the funds come into your account than we will invest in what i know not the business i do not know about.please in your next mail to me i do not want to hear what ever your friends tell you becuase it is making me feel that you are not interested at all, how can you be listening to what your friends tells you,how old are you Mr Hunter?,what you have seen in life is not the same with what they have seen yet because they are your friends they tell you what to do, For my own point of view i think they have a upper hand in your life,you are a doctor aren't you ?.i wish you had call me i will tell you what i want to tell you.

I hope all this is not a joke, because the bank will take this funds back if i do not front some one as the Next of kin,so get back to me i am a busy barrister i have call coming in and i will not sit and wait for you when you did not call.keep trying you will get me on line the numbers + 44 7040101707.call me now,

I wait fro your call.

Phillip Andrews Esq.

My reply

Dear Penthouse Forum,
I never thought this would happen to me.
Last night I was at the college laundramat all by myself when all of a
sudden Tiffany the head cheerleader walks in to do her laundry.
Tiffany looked at me and said hi, and of course I answered back hi
too. After Tiffany loaded all of her cheerleader unmentionables in the
machine she realized that she didn't have any soap. So she came up to
me and asked me if I had any soap, and I told her that I did, that I
had lots of soap, and when I reached over to get my soap to give to
Tiffany I could sense that she was staring at my nine and a half
inches of throbbing manhood as it pressed against the thin material of
my sweatpants, and right then and there Tiffany fell down on her
knees, told me that I was hotter than Brad the college football
quarterback, pulled down my sweatpants and my Dilbert boxer shorts and
proceded to orally pleasure me. After what seemed like hours a shot my
hot man juice and Tiffany proceded to swallow every bit of it even
though it must have been at least a quart load. We then went back to
our laundry totally ignoring each other. While walking on campus this
morning I spotted Tiffany with some of her cheerleader friends. I ran
up to say hi to her, but when her cheerleader friends started pointing
and laughing at me, Tiffany had to pretend to ignore me.
All I know is that I can't wait until the next time I have to do
laundry, and you can bet I will take lots of soap.
Yours Truly
Hunter

URGENT URGENT URGENT
Dearr Pjillip.
Please disregard that last letter. I was doing my morning business
correspondance and I accidentally sent an email meant for my college
alumni assoication to you by mistake,
See what happens when you give your secretary the day off!!!
PJillip, I will be calling to you soon about the business preposition
that you have most kindly offered me.
I sense that big things will be happening in regards to our business prepositon.
I was going to call you before I came to work this morning but the
twins, AmyJo and Cori, flushed the telephone down the toilet.
Kids!!!!!
You can bet I will be spanking both of their little tushies with great
relish when I get home from work today.
Please be by the phone awaiting my call, as I plan on stopping by the
store where you buy phones on the way home from the office today, and
as soon as I discipline AmyJo and Cori, I will be placing my call to
yo.
Please answer my email to let me know that you will be waiting by the
phone waiting for my telephone call.
Urgently waiting for your urgent reply.
Your new best friend.
The Big Man
Dr. Hunter Douglas
PS - Did you notice that I did not mention any of my friends this time
like you asked me not to. I think this should prove I mean business.

Round Six
His reply

Dear Friend,

Do call me .

Phillip.

My Reply

Dear Pjillip,
It looks like the joke is on you after all, and your scam is up.
Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Detective Hunter Douglas ... International Spam Police, and as I am typing this I am also faxing your email address, your telephone number, and your unique computer finger print to every law enforcement agency in the free world.
Yes, my Nigerian friend, the jig is up. The next time you hear a knock on the door it may be the very last knock you hear as a free man, because Pjillip Andrews Esq ...
Detective Hunter Douglas ... International Spam Police has nabbed another one!!!
Yours Truly
Detective Hunter Douglas ... International Spam Police